One Day

When banks first started coming out with ATMs, there was a certain reticence, on the public's behalf, against replacing their transactions involving human contact inside the bank, with an interaction with a hulking computer, stuck outside the front. People grow fond of tradition and get comfortable with systems of repetition. Change, even when the obvious and logical benefits of progression seem clear and self evident, can, sometimes, be hard to implement. So, in their wisdom, The Banks decided to make the use of all transactions on ATMs, free. The idea being, that there was already enough hindering a mass conversion to a system the banks hoped to, one day, save them millions upon millions of dollars in unpaid wages, that it would be counterproductive to encumber the public with another reason to avoid useage.

Their plan involved growing a comfortability and dependence upon, what would one day, become colloquially known as, 'the hole in the wall' and to eventually drip fees and charges into the process. This is exactly what happened. I remember, when Australian banks, unilaterally and quietly, went from 25 cents a transaction up to 50 cents, thinking that we had opened Pandora's Box and these charges could spiral out of control. Today, banks all over the world, reap billions of dollars in ATM transaction fees.

Simple plan and brilliant execution.

So brilliant, in fact, that when Text Messaging first became available to the phone networks in Australia, they decided to follow the ATMs example for social integration. At first, one could only text amoungst others that were within the same network, yet one could do so for free. Then, after only a few short months, one could text any network they liked - and still for free. After about a year, the networks began to charge per each text, but, by then, we were all hooked on this incredibly efficient, direct, instant and somewhat less emotional form of contact. Organically, we created a whole new set of social graces and rules of politeness and expectation, to deal with this new form of human interaction. What is acceptable or not to deliver by text? How long should or shouldn't one wait to reply? How long after an unreplied text can you send another? Can you pretend that you never received a text? How many abbreviations are you prepared to use? And so on and so on.

But these questions and their answers that, in so many ways, will serve to, one day, define our generation, would only come after. After the network charges kicked in.  Whilst it was free, it was just harmless fun.

At that time, I was living in a neighborhood that sat just before the beginning of Melbourne's suburbia. It was the only time that I've lived in Melbourne in a neighborhood that did not fall inside the area, that is today called, The City of Port Phillip. In essence, for those of you not familiar with Melbourne's confusing Council Border breakdown, this is to say, it was the furthest from St Kilda beach that I ever lived (not that far though, for the drive there took about 6 minutes). Anyways....

I don't wish to go into the exact details, but back then, I had a massive amount of free time on my hands. I spent it chasing after the affections of the, one day, star of an international hit horror film, watching thousands of old movies, trying to redesign my key characteristics, learning guitar and enjoying many dodgy lunches at a dodgy Italian restaurant. Oh, and, for a few solid months, taking an extraordinary amounts of a certain hallucinogenic.

In this last pursuit - no, actually it was more of a hobby - I had a partner in crime. A fellow who, like me, was at the same time fascinated by the powers of this particular hallucinogenic, yet still possessed a somewhat relaxed view of constant and consistent imbibement and the certain effect of this upon us, one day in the future. Due to these often shared intense journeys towards the other side of both of our shared and individual consciousnesses, we became very close and solemnly insynch. We were both jovial fellows, with supposed artistic tendencies and were able to frame our Trips inside the context of mind expansion and life betterment, but, in reality, I think we were just taking drugs. Nonetheless, I did learn and effect so much of my life from those days and I am certainly the man I now am, because of that foundationary period.

One of our amusements that we picked up along the way, was to send random texts to each other. They were free and we were often even freer with our time and we'd end up having epic text conversations about increasingly more obscure and surreal topics, only to see who would be the first to flinch and stop responding. One day, whilst standing on a train platform, I sent him this:


"if time stopped, what would the watchmakers do?"


Within 45 seconds, this came back to me


"watch time go by"


Brilliant.

In an instant and, seemingly, without the time to consider  a witty, droll and perfect response, he had just nailed it. Perfect. I was so stunned by the perfection of his reply that I simply sent him this.


"wow. you win. well played."


That text, the 'watch time go by' text, is the greatest text I have ever received. It was a note perfect appropriation of the specifics and requirements of the text message. It was concise, direct, random, lyrical, witty, dry and unemotional enough to be unobtrusive, with just a hint of illogic. This is the example of a text being all that it could be - the ideal example.  (Other than "are you awake?" of course.)

Nowadays, I don't use texts in an anywhere near as precisely risen-above way. Normally, the ones I receive can be quite banal and the ones that I send out are simply outlets for a growing detachment to conversational expectations. I've noticed that lately I've been using texts as Entree-Courting. This means, that I will meet a stranger, a girl that grabs my intrigue for a moment, drop her my number and we will experience those first feeling-each-other-out conversions, with a litany of back and forth texts. Its juvenile, in a high school kind of way, and I know it, but I suppose I find a certain comfort in the non committal nature of these early exchanges. I can use this period to decide if I could be bothered with getting face to face with the lass.  There's a safety in it.

Odd, for I am not really a safe guy.

I knew this was wrong and was certain that, one day, there would be reckoning of this. Well, over the past few weeks, I think I've had my comeuppance.( Not that I deserve retribution for these text conversations, but I did and do need a kick in the pants, when I become too reliant on bad habits.) I have begun to receive texts messages that are extremes - almost caricatures (second blog in a row that I have used that word, a word I had never written before in my life)- of the ideals I held texts up to be and should not be. They have come to me from a variety of continents the world wide, and whereas I've enjoyed the random, lyrical and witty ones, I cannot say the same for the ones that have not respected the parameter requirements that texts remain fairly unobtrusive and unemotional. Perhaps my predilection for the written word and the somewhat inaccessible nature of my maraud around the globe, has forced an evolution of received-texts into this new phase. However, I still think there was once a line we never crossed when choosing the appropriateness of a text, that seems to have now been crossed by both myself and those around me.

I know you want examples, but I'm not going to give them to you. It would be disrespectful to the senders in question  and that just goes to highlight the point I'm trying to make here:

If you need to say something private or heartfelt or personal or confessional or revealing or crushing or dramatic or demanding or liberating or revealing or anything seriously impactive and you don't feel the confidence  to deliver such in spoken word or face to face, PUT IT IN A GODDAMN LETTER OR EMAIL!!

C'mon folk, let's reclaim the humble text back to its rightful pace of brevity and levity. I'm as guilty as you, but I'm ready to effect the revolution.

Otherwise, one day, all we will be doing is watching time go by.